


Snapped

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Ben’s Story [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Kylo Ren, Canonical Character Death, Crait (Star Wars), Gen, Heavy Angst, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Leia Organa bashing, Luke Skywalker Is An Asshole, Luke Skywalker bashing, M/M, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Not Reylo, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren, Rated M For Snoke being cut in half, Rey Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:13:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: A look into Kylo Ren’s mind during the battle of Crait.





	Snapped

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Unhappy Ending
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Let’s say that there was something about the climax of TLJ (where Kylo goes off the deep end) that made no sense to me. Here’s my attempt to fix it. Also, I may have gotten some dialogue wrong; I’m going by memory.

It’s seeing what remains of Snoke on the throne that it really sinks in for Kylo what he’s done. He’s killed his own master. All for the sake of power. He and Rey have also killed off the Praetorian Guards. Just about everyone but he and Rey in Snoke’s throne room are dead.   
  
And he knows what he has to do. Finish what his grandfather started. Bring order. Someone has to do it, and if not him...well, Hux will do it.   
  
“Ben?” Rey’s voice stirs him out of his thoughts for a moment.   
  
“It’s time to let all things die,” he says. “Snoke, Skywalker, the Rebels, the Jedi...let it all die.” He’s seen both sides, seen what they’ve done and how they’ve wronged him, and it’s like the barrier holding his rage back has finally broken. He’s lost everything thanks to Skywalker — the chance of normalcy, the chance of belonging, himself, Poe...  
  
Even thinking of Poe is enough to make his chest clench. There is something about this galaxy that is too wrong, too broken. Rey, though...  
  
He remembers something that Darth Traya once said about the Jedi Exile Arawn Sinn. _“I would have killed the galaxy to preserve you.”_ He doesn’t love Rey, not like he loved Poe, but as an apprentice who could be, he loves her.   
  
“Rey,” he says, holding out his hand. “I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy.”  
  
“Don’t do this, Ben.” There are tears on her face. He can’t help but be angry; he shouldn’t. And yet he is. She’s trying to appeal to a dead part of him, a loathed part of him. Skywalker didn’t kill Kylo physically, but he good as killed Ben Solo. “Please don’t go this way.”  
  
“No, no, you’re still holding on! Let go!” Kylo can’t help but be frustrated with her. Angry. She doesn’t see the truth. Skywalker’s hurt her as he hurt Ben Solo, and she refuses to break away from him and join Kylo. Kylo can see it. Rey by his side, nurtured like his own family — she isn’t family, but she feels like it. And Poe...would Poe be by his side too, in his arms? They would stand with him, he saw as much when they touched hands. Rey would have a family that cared about her as opposed to people who sold her off for drinking money. She’s still holding on...  
  
“Do you want to know the truth about your parents?” he says. “Or have you always known? You must have hidden it away. Go on, say it. Say it.”  
  
The tears are falling harder, like rain. “They were nobody,” Rey says.   
  
“They were filthy junk traders who sold you for drinking money,” Kylo says. “They’re dead, in a pauper’s grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing...you’re nothing.” And something in him, a spiteful little part that remembers when he was nothing, small, scrawny and too skinny, someone that Kes Dameron tried to feed up for being too skinny, wants to make her hurt like he hurt. Who is this girl, who can humiliate him one moment and try and save him the next? Maybe that’s a form of humiliation too. Making him nothing again.   
  
Except he knows she’s listening in on his thoughts — the bond they have allows that much. And he knows that Skywalker wounded her in his own uniquely narcissistic way as well.   
  
“But not to me,” he says. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He can’t hurt her. Even if his grandfather’s lightsaber called, somehow, to a mere garbage-picker.   
  
No. Not just a garbage-picker. There’s something that the vision he saw didn’t tell him.   
  
“Join me,” he says. “Please.”  
  
She doesn’t.   
  
When he comes to, he’s even angrier, because he’s driven off yet another being that matters to him. It doesn’t matter, though. If everyone in the galaxy hates him, he’ll do a fine job of hating them right back.   
  
They want a monster? They’ve got one. Somewhere, his mother — his equally narcissistic, loveless mother — is possibly rejoicing. She got the monster she always thought her son was. All for things he could barely control.   
  
They’re probably rejoicing in their little hidey-holes on Crait, grabbing torches and pitchforks freely to kill the monster. His mother’s busy replacing him with someone else — if not Poe, maybe Rey, maybe FN-2187 the traitor, maybe anyone.   
  
Kylo Ren has gone over the edge in terms of his anger. And the worst/best part is that he no longer cares.   
  
***  
  
His uncle confronts him on the battlefield of Crait, arrogant as ever. Kylo doesn’t know why he’s carrying a blue lightsaber, but in the end, it really doesn’t matter. His uncle is nothing like his father — his uncle is a narcissist to the core, a hateful old man who thinks, somehow, he is the superior one.   
  
The fight is a sham. Luke is too much of a coward to actually fight on Crait, Kylo realizes. He can taunt and gloat and spout meaningless, generic apologies, but he can’t fight. Can’t face his nephew, who he betrayed. Kylo can safely say that he didn’t hate his father — even his attempts to cut Han had been half-hearted, especially considering Han was the only one who believed in him. His mother’s given up on him, Kylo can feel it, and his uncle doesn’t love anyone but himself. Only Han Solo believed in him, and Kylo killed him.  
  
Luke has no right to mention his father. Not like this.   
  
Even as Luke disappears, Kylo screams. He screams in frustration that he didn’t get to end him, that his uncle was too much of a coward to face him himself. He just hopes, as he feels Luke become one with the Force, that his uncle suffers for all eternity.   
  
They enter the Resistance Base on Crait, and it’s empty. Empty except for a familiar pair of dice that lie on the ground. Gold dice. Through the bond, Kylo can see Rey — see her, if not her surroundings, her face carefully blank. No expression, nothing at all — and he knows she doesn’t believe in him either, not anymore.   
  
No one does.   
  
She closes the door on him and the gold dice disappear from Kylo’s gloves. He’s not angry anymore — he’s empty. He lost his father all over again, and he lost Rey, who in another life, he could have taught and trained.   
  
They are gone. Just about everyone’s gone.   
  
Kylo Ren is alone.


End file.
